I miss the old me sometimes. I miss how careless I could be, not afraid of trying new things and putting myself out there. It’s sad to say that as I got a little older I became more afraid and more cautious about putting myself out there. I don’t know if it’s fear of being hurt, rejected or what….but it’s not a good feeling. It’s hard putting yourself out there when people have become so sneaky and don’t have your best interests at heart. But I will say when you meet those people that are worth your time and energy, you should value them. I don’t want to say new year, new me but I feel like things are finally starting to look up for me. I will be starting a new job in February, enrolling back into school to get my Bachelors degree, working on becoming a better friend,daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, granddaughter, and me. In 2015 let’s forget all the fear and do what we said we were going to do. Let’s work hard on those goals, and set higher bars for ourselves. Let’s be good to one another and just be better for ourselves. I’m ready for 2015, are you?

I hate taking naps in the middle of the day because then I’m up all night and I still have to get up early tomorrow. Anyways vacation is in 5 days, I know you’ll probably sick of seeing the countdown but you must understand how excited I am…it has been 3 long months and I really miss my boyfriend. On another note there’s some other exciting things coming up, I’m thinking about doing a giveaway of some sort because I have a lot of beauty products that I just bought (and haven’t opened) that I really don’t need. I might add some other things in there as well…..but I need ideas. What else?…..my favorite time of the year is coming around and that of course is Thanksgiving…and then Christmas. I’m really excited about Christmas because my goal is to be in our new place celebrating with my baby on his birthday for the first time since we’ve been together! I know I’ve been slacking and I plan on trying to post at least three times a week…but I always get backed up on things….I think I want to do more advice posts (beauty and non beauty) but I haven’t quite decided. Well I’m going to try to get some sleep because I know I will regret this in the morning.

My Thoughts….

After hearing about the tragic death of Michael Brown I have had so many mixed feelings. On one hand I am angry that another one of our black men have been killed and I know there is probably nothing that is going to be done about it. But on the other hand I feel that this will be another tragic incident that occurs in the African American community, that will shortly be overlooked when then next “hot” topic comes around. It’s so hard to be apart of a movement and want to be apart of change when we can’t stick together. When I hear about the stories of the looting and seeing pictures of women leaving hair supply stores with packs of hair, it frustrates me because instead of focusing on what was most important people are taking this an an opportunity to benefit themselves. In order for there to be a change, we need to get upset at not only white on black violence but black on black violence. How can we ask for change when we can’t even protect ourselves, when there are black men killing other black men just because they wear different colors or because they have a pair of sneakers that they want. In order for there to be a change we have to stick together, we have to have the same passion when a white man kills a black man as when a black man kills a black man. It’s sad to see our men dying at the hands of anyone no matter the race. So it disappoints me when I see such an up rise for more of the (for a lack of a better word) “publicized” tragic events and nothing about the men that are being killed everyday in each of our own communities. I really think we have a long way to go before any changes can be made, changes need to be made in our own communities before we are taken seriously. I still pray for justice for everyone of our brothers that have been wrongfully murdered by the hands of someone else