2015

I miss the old me sometimes. I miss how careless I could be, not afraid of trying new things and putting myself out there. It’s sad to say that as I got a little older I became more afraid and more cautious about putting myself out there. I don’t know if it’s fear of being hurt, rejected or what….but it’s not a good feeling. It’s hard putting yourself out there when people have become so sneaky and don’t have your best interests at heart. But I will say when you meet those people that are worth your time and energy, you should value them. I don’t want to say new year, new me but I feel like things are finally starting to look up for me. I will be starting a new job in February, enrolling back into school to get my Bachelors degree, working on becoming a better friend,daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, granddaughter, and me. In 2015 let’s forget all the fear and do what we said we were going to do. Let’s work hard on those goals, and set higher bars for ourselves. Let’s be good to one another and just be better for ourselves. I’m ready for 2015, are you?

Today was a real eye opener for me. Due to some recent events I was starting to think about it the relationship that I had with my father and it made me sad all over again. I could never understand why we couldn’t get our relationship on the right track…. I always blamed myself because for a while I feel like he had disowned me. Well this morning I went to church and it just so happened that’s what the pastor was talking about. To sum it up he basically preached that although you may have family members that disown you, shame you and may not love you the way you deserve….God will love you no matter what because he has been in any situation you can think of and he is not ashamed to say that you are his child. So long story short…..despite my flaws and my mistakes I know that God will love me just the way I am.

Be careful…

Be careful who you trust, not everyone is worth your trust. Be careful who you love, not everyone is worthy of your heart. Be careful who you call your friends, because they’re sometimes the same people hoping you’d fail. Just be careful….

Rant of the day…..

Here’s my little rant for the day….I have been in my long distance relationship for 3 years and counting. Although we may have hit a few bumps in the road we know what works best for us, so I find it humorous when people try to speak on a situation that they know nothing about. Let me tell you something whether you are in a long distance relationship or if your man or woman is living in the same house as you….if you don’t have trust you don’t have ANYTHING. If you don’t communicate with one another how are you to work through any problems that you may be having. The other day a co-worker approached me and we started talking about our relationships. I told her that my boyfriend was going out with his girl best friend and she completely lost it. She couldn’t figure out for the life of her why I thought it was okay. She said you can’t trust girls (and although I find that to be true I didn’t find it accurate in that moment) because girls are always trying to be sneaky. To make a long story short we shared our difference in opinions and I came to the conclusion that if you feel some type of way about something then you need to address it with your significant other. And if you feel the need to chase after him or her checking every little move they make then maybe you need to reconsider the relationship. Of course you’ll have insecurities but I feel it’s the other person’s job to make you feel as secure as possible. I was also told that I don’t need to be in such a committed relationship but yet I should be enjoying my life being in my 20’s….But whose to say that I’m not enjoying my life being in a committed relationship. I’ve been extremely happy these last 3 years and I’ve experienced so many different things. No we aren’t perfect but I’ve gained a best friend; someone I can laugh with, someone I can cry to with my little problems, someone that loves me inside and out. So I’m saying all of this to say that not everybody’s situation is going to be the same, some people enjoy dating around and some people enjoy being with just one person. Yes you are entitled to your opinion but just remember your experiences are not mine and you can’t push what you feel onto someone else.

Y’all people that have your significant other right there and aren’t in long distant relationships better appreciate one another. I get so sappy seeing other couples together holding hands and kissing. One day…..

My Ladies

My ladies, stop comparing yourself to other girls. We are all beautiful and unique in our own ways. I know I have a bad habit of comparing myself to other girls especially if I think my boyfriend thinks they’re cute, but that’s an insecurity within myself….always trying to be better than the next chick. We (girls) have a horrible habit of tearing each other down instead of trying to uplift one another. Everyone is beautiful….sure you may not have a feature that the other girl has but that doesn’t make you any less pretty. And STOP letting this men make you feel like you have to look a certain way….if that’s the case then he ain’t the one for you. Be with someone who thinks you are beautiful even on your worst days when you want to crawl back in bed and try it again tomorrow. Find someone who looks at you for more than just your breast or your ass….Find someone who can make you feel special. Too often have I put myself down thinking that my boyfriend didn’t think I was as pretty as other girls…when in fact it has been myself looking and wanting to be like someone else. Embrace what makes you you and love yourself flaws and all. How about this…the next time you go to talk bad about someone try to find something to compliment them about instead.

I hate taking naps in the middle of the day because then I’m up all night and I still have to get up early tomorrow. Anyways vacation is in 5 days, I know you’ll probably sick of seeing the countdown but you must understand how excited I am…it has been 3 long months and I really miss my boyfriend. On another note there’s some other exciting things coming up, I’m thinking about doing a giveaway of some sort because I have a lot of beauty products that I just bought (and haven’t opened) that I really don’t need. I might add some other things in there as well…..but I need ideas. What else?…..my favorite time of the year is coming around and that of course is Thanksgiving…and then Christmas. I’m really excited about Christmas because my goal is to be in our new place celebrating with my baby on his birthday for the first time since we’ve been together! I know I’ve been slacking and I plan on trying to post at least three times a week…but I always get backed up on things….I think I want to do more advice posts (beauty and non beauty) but I haven’t quite decided. Well I’m going to try to get some sleep because I know I will regret this in the morning.

The countdown is on!

Vacation is in 12 days and I’m so excited! Can’t wait to look at some apartments and hopefully pick one so we can get this move on the road. Last month and this month have been really stressful, been working really hard, sleeping very little and been breaking out like crazy. I feel like a teenager all over again, I’m trying to get myself together before I go see my boo so I have somewhat changed my diet and been using some different products to get my skin back the way it was. I hear some naturals say they have experienced some minor breakouts once they turned natural, has anyone else found that to be true? Give me some recommendations on what I could use on my face.

UPDATE !

Hey guys, I’m getting really excited now. I just got approved for my vacation time for next month, so I will be in Charlotte checking out and hopefully applying for an apartment while I’m there. It’s getting real now because December is approaching rapidly and we are almost there. It has been very stressful trying to work as much as possible so that this move will be possible but it’s about that time we get out and get our own. Hey if anyone is from Charlotte, let me know of the good places to visit!

Aahhhh !

You ever have those moments when you feel like pulling out your hair? Yes? Good because I am having one, I already tried to approach it the cool laid back way and I think that’s why I’m sitting here feeling like I am now. I hate being a grown up sometimes, I have loan payments due, a cell phone bill, car payments, insurance, and soon rent. I know that millions of people are already doing this and this may not be new to you. But it is definitely an overwhelming feeling for me because it seems like everything is just piling up one thing after the next. I don’t know whether to be angry or cry. I know it works other people’s nerves when I get all bogged down about things but I can’t help it, I can’t just sit back and relax when “this bill is due” is screaming out at me. It’s so overwhelming for me and I never know how to handle it. But hey I guess it comes with being an adult right?