I miss the old me sometimes. I miss how careless I could be, not afraid of trying new things and putting myself out there. It’s sad to say that as I got a little older I became more afraid and more cautious about putting myself out there. I don’t know if it’s fear of being hurt, rejected or what….but it’s not a good feeling. It’s hard putting yourself out there when people have become so sneaky and don’t have your best interests at heart. But I will say when you meet those people that are worth your time and energy, you should value them. I don’t want to say new year, new me but I feel like things are finally starting to look up for me. I will be starting a new job in February, enrolling back into school to get my Bachelors degree, working on becoming a better friend,daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, granddaughter, and me. In 2015 let’s forget all the fear and do what we said we were going to do. Let’s work hard on those goals, and set higher bars for ourselves. Let’s be good to one another and just be better for ourselves. I’m ready for 2015, are you?
Today was a real eye opener for me. Due to some recent events I was starting to think about it the relationship that I had with my father and it made me sad all over again. I could never understand why we couldn’t get our relationship on the right track…. I always blamed myself because for a while I feel like he had disowned me. Well this morning I went to church and it just so happened that’s what the pastor was talking about. To sum it up he basically preached that although you may have family members that disown you, shame you and may not love you the way you deserve….God will love you no matter what because he has been in any situation you can think of and he is not ashamed to say that you are his child. So long story short…..despite my flaws and my mistakes I know that God will love me just the way I am.