FAQ: Long Distance Relationship Edition

Hey guys I decided I wanted to do a FAQ for long distance relationships because I tend to get a lot of questions in regards to my relationship. First off I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we actually met on LiveProfile which is similar to Kik. I never told people the truth in the beginning on how we met because I was afraid that people wold judge and hell I didn’t feel like hearing other opinions. So without further ado let’s get to the questions….

1. What makes a LDR work?

In my opinion communication is key! Communication is important in any type of relationship that you have so you know that is has to be on point  when being away from each other. Secondly there has to be trust, there’s no point in having a relationship without trust. If you have to constantly think about what your partner may be doing when you aren’t around, then you may really need to rethink some things. Lastly for me, respect is a must. Respect also carries into any relationship that you have, you need to respect one another and set boundaries for what works best for your situation.

2. Is a LDR better than other relationships you’ve been in before?

This relationship has been a lot different in many ways, I’ve grown to get to know my boyfriend and he has become by best friend. Where with other relationships I felt that I rushed into putting titles on things before actually getting to know that person. With Horace the approach was completely different, we spent about 7 months of just talking and getting to know each other. We learned about what each other liked and didn’t like, what our hobbies where, etc. By the time our first date rolled around, it wasn’t that awkward silence that I experienced so many times before.

3. What is the hardest part about being in a LDR?

The distance would have to be the hardest, and not just because you can’t see one another everyday but because when times get hard and you butt heads you aren’t able to sort out your feelings face to face. You end up discussing these things through text messages and over Skype and I don’t know about you guys but that isn’t exactly a forum I would like to have those types of conversations on.

4. When did you realize that you wanted to make this a serious relationship?

When we would talk everyday all day and I still couldn’t get enough, I wanted to know more about him and found that although we are complete opposites and brought out a different side of me. When I realized he challenged me in different ways and his attitude was completely different than other guys that I had talk to I realized that taking a risk and making it a serious relationship was worth it.

5. Do people tend to downplay your relationship?

All the time, when I tell people that he lives 5 hours away they always give me that look as if it’s not as real because he’s not physically right by my side everyday. We have been together for 4 years, and not everyday has been a good day. We’ve had some really bad times to where we did feel like throwing in the towel and giving up because we felt that lack of support or because we couldn’t see eye to eye and wanted to both just quit. But of course we have our good times and those always outweigh the bad. But during those darkest times is what matters most because anyone can be by your side when it’s good, but will you be by myself when things get rough? He’s always proven that he’ll stick by my side no matter what obstacle has comes our way. I feel our relationship is right up there with the other “normal” relationships, in my opinion LDR’s experience more challenges.

6. If someone would have told you today that 4 years ago you would be in a LDR, what would your response have been?

I probably would have laughed, I never thought I would be in a long distance relationship, it definitely wasn’t my first choice. Do I regret it now? Not at all.

7. Is marriage in your future? Do you plan on moving in together?

Marriage is definitely in the future, we both have discussed getting married but we want to do it on our terms. Everybody seems to have their two cents but at the end of the day it’s what we want to do. We don’t want to just get married because of what others have to say. We definitely plan on moving in together, actually trying to get it together for this summer.

8. What about kids?

We definitely want kids…..but once again on our terms.

9. How do you feel about online dating?

Just like with regular dating practices, it has its good sides and bad sides. I know it isn’t for everyone and if you are going to do online dating, I just say be smart and don’t do anything you know you aren’t comfortable with doing just to get a guy. You have to stay safe whether you meet somebody online or at the mall, there are creeps online and offline.

10. What advice would you give others that are thinking about being in a LDR?

Do NOT commit to a long distance relationship if you aren’t fully committed. And when I say that I mean don’t enter something that your heart isn’t going to be fully in. Relationships are already hard, don’t drag somebody along just because you want your cake and want to eat it too. If you are the type of person that can’t commit to a “normal” relationship then this is not the right choice for you. Also take your time, get to know that person and make sure you take the time out to really get to know that person. Communicate with each other, even if it isn’t all day, a simple check in is always nice. And most importantly don’t over think everything, enjoy the good times and stay strong during the bad.

xoxo….

Happy Anniversary!

So a couple of days ago, it was my 1 year natural hair anniversary. This year has been full of ups and downs and full of learning experiences. But all and all I wouldn’t change anything, I will never go back to have relaxed hair, not saying anything bad for those that choose to remain relaxed….but for myself I can never see myself going back to that. I have seen so much progress in my hair, so much growth and so much more strength. Being natural has allowed me so much more freedom, I go to the gym more than I ever have in my life because I don’t have to worry about sweating out my hair. There is so much versatility with having natural hair, one day it can be straight, the next curly, or pretty much any hairstyle that I can imagine. I’m very happy to have made it one year strong and I look forward to many more years to come!

xoxo